Month: June 2020

The Human Dilemma: Between the Actions and Results

The Actions we take is of great importance when considering our progress as human beings. I am suggesting this both from the perspective as a species as well as individuals. Its simple to state why this is so. Our Actions render our Results, not necessarily our intentions alone.
If you assess contemplatively for what is currently happening with your life, do the resulting thoughts fill you with happiness and satisfaction? Or do you feel a sense of despair? If you sense fulfilment and happiness, it means, for now, you must continue your current patterns of action. If you
sense despair, the message is for you to change your pattern of actions.

T>F>A
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy states the formula: T>F>A: The progression is to explain, our Thoughts produce our Feelings. Further, the Interactions between our Thoughts and Feelings produce our Actions. And of course, as I mentioned before, our Actions produce our Results.
For a moment, let me provide you with an example to illustrate the practicality of the above content. If you have heard of ‘Pavlov’s Dogs’, you would remember, the dogs were signalled to approach their food bowls with the ringing of a bell. The dogs would react to the stimuli, the ringing of the bell, every time, by wagging their tails instantly before consuming their meals. Pavlov later observed that the dogs wagged their tails if they heard the bell ringing at ‘off’ times too. This is a simple example to state a biological condition, S>R, which means an organism reacts to stimuli.
Stimuli being the bell ringing and reaction being the tail wagging.
As ‘intelligent’ human beings, we also are susceptible to this biological conditioning. However, we can intelligently ‘by-pass’ the conditioning for our own good.

Reacting to Situations:

What would you do if your little daughter at breakfast, accidentally spilt her milk on your neatly ironed clothes, that you chose for that special & crucial presentation you had to deliver at work? Most readers would imagine that you would burst out with rage, scream at her with your fists tightened. If you reacted that way, how would that day be expected to progress? You would be stressed to look for something else to wear. Your spouse would advise you not to get that hyper and scream at the child, which makes you more uncomfortable. Your temper could hamper your mood which further could hamper your presentation. By the time you finished your work for the day, you have begun to feel bad for yourself and your kid for the way you behaved in the morning. When you came back home, your little child is really frightened to come to you. Your spouse isn’t talking to you. Here, there is a clear progression from your Actions to the Results. Now, would you want this to happen again? It’s a Big No.

Learning to Respond rather than React:

If you learnt from the experience, you would find alternative behaviours to deal with a similar situation, if it occurred in the future. This means you are an intelligent human being. You consciously applied yourself to design your ‘Response’ to the situation rather than ‘React’. Here, the formula is altered to S>O>R. The progression states, if intelligence is applied, the so-called organism, that’s you, can choose to deal with a similar stimulus in a more conscious manner. This transformation means the individual has learnt to Respond rather than React. Therefore, Stimulus>Organism>Response.

Considering the same example, you found new ways of Thinking about the discomforting situation. The new thought patterns filled you with calmness, compassion, understanding and empathy, rather than anger. The interactions between the new Thoughts and Feelings led you to Act in different ways altogether. Your family would certainly feel more obliged to help you with your difficulty that day and appreciate you for your display of maturity. That’s the essence of Emotional Intelligence Training. Learning to Respond rather than React.

Emotional Intelligence:

However, learning from experience isn’t easy nor common. However uncommon it may be, it is un- Intelligent to continue behavioural patterns that are logically, emotionally, detrimental and draining to us as well as others. Therefore, ‘Emotional Intelligence Training.’
Learning from Experience is the only way to progress into a matured Human Being. A matured Human Being is responsible for one’s own Feelings and Emotions, as well as Others. More on the topic in the next blog.
Practical and everyday definition of Emotional Intelligence Training: Learning from Experience.

How to Develop Your Personal Branding? Developing Your Visibility:

I had written a blog recently for how Personal Branding can be improved by working upon 7 areas at work. I’d like to focus on how to build your Visibility at work on this blog. Visibility is an incredible pay-off for people who earnestly work on their Branding. However, one must also understand that our Visibility is our own responsibility.

Cultural Dilemma:
I claim emphatically, that “Credibility is no assurance of Visibility”. This statement almost describes the dilemma that working people experience, especially among south east Asian working cultures. Many Asian cultures promote a highly passive approach to working life. In fact, it is not uncommon among working people in our own country to feel, that seeking Visibility is the same as bragging. A frequent feedback received by engineers, during annual appraisals from their superiors is, that they are efficient but lack visibility. I am sure you will agree when I say, that many working people in our country are ‘Visibility Shy’, in different degrees.

Tendency to believe Credibility is good enough:

Let’s consider Credibility first. One needs to work on Credibility as it establishes an extent of trust the organization can have on an employee. However, no amount of effort in establishing Credibility is going to guarantee Visibility. Credibility is established by one’s academic excellence, exhibiting of relevant knowledge & problem- solving skills, and most importantly, tendency to ‘walk the talk’. However, the truth of the matter is,
not all highly trustworthy individuals carry high Visibility.
Bottom line is. Just working hard and being sincere, even though great qualities to possess, will not fetch Visibility.

How to go about Your Visibility?
‘Toot Your Own Horn’ – Develop a Positive Attitude for Visibility:
Nobody is going to do it for you. No culture in the world is known to consider bragging as a virtue, but it doesn’t mean, the only option left is to choose ‘invisibility’. Know you have a ‘Right’ for Visibility. Know there is nothing wrong in talking about your ‘good’, achievements and contributions in the right set up.
Importantly. Don’t blame your bosses or company for your lack of Visibility, it is not their responsibility but yours.
I came across a saying recently on the internet, “What do a Deep Thinker and an Emotional Person lack???? The Visibility of their Importance in today’s world”. Let this not become the impression of your working life.

Speak Up in Meetings
Whether you like it or not, meetings are the place when you become known by your team for your confidence and by others for who you are.
Don’t keep your opinions and views to yourself. Your Branding doesn’t depend on whether your opinions were accepted or not, it depends on whether you expressed them to your best capability nor not.

Volunteer to Represent your Team
What did you do during the last Office Day, Cultural event or Annual Day? Did you participate and exhibit your innate talent to entertain everyone, or did you just stay back with the audience and watched the show?
Highly talented people just need one good opportunity for life-long guaranteed Visibility sometimes. Don’t keep your good to yourself. Exhibit them when opportunity is right.

Participate in Learning Opportunities
This is a great way to boost your Visibility. By just participating earnestly and soundly, a lot of people become aware of who you are.

Project your strengths by leveraging Social Media
Write Blogs, Books if you have time & Articles about your passions or information that can add value to others. Shoot Videos to project your knowledge and not necessarily regarding your work alone.
Share the link to relevant and interested parties and seek their feedback
Be a Good Networker

There’s a saying, ‘doing your good work and not networking is like winking at your potential date in the dark’. Its just not good enough to be good at your work. Strike conversations with strangers and talk to them. Join a networking group who have similar interests or can be potential customers or stakeholder in the future Now…the last one is awesome!!…..My favourite…Just Highlight Other People’s Success with aplomb
I love this. This is the best one I know. Imagine…you have a lot of people doing great around you. Just understand them and talk about their achievements aloud and people love you for that. Hope the ideas and insights in the blog is appreciated and liked.

How to Develop Your Personal Brand?

I was recently narrating to my audience, in a Leadership Training Program about how my high school teachers, didn’t remember me for all the talents I was known for in a school, when we met in a high school reunion. Rather, they remembered me for accidentally locking them up in the bathroom during a school excursion.

The reason for my disappointment as I saw, was that my teachers had seen innumerable students in their career, similarly in talent, but not any of them locked them in the bathroom. That instance, I remembered one of my old mentors sharing a piece of his wisdom ‘that people remember you for two reasons primarily, for the way you personally Impact them, or the Value you add to them.

Not discounting the Impact element in building a great Branding for yourself, adding value goes a long way. Adding value is solid in substance, less superficial and more profound in essence, considering as an approach to Personal Branding.

In this blog, I will focus on how you can work on your Branding at Workplace:

First Step: Believe in Yourself:

Your Branding is boosted if you are known for your Problem-Solving attitude. Capabilities are different from an attitude. People with high capabilities may fail due to attitudinal issues. Develop the attitude of ‘Internal Locus of Control’. It means, focusing on elements within scope of control to exercise, rather than blaming external aspects that don’t fall within the scope of control.
Example: If you find it difficult working with your boss, it is within your control to politely talk about your difficulties directly, rather than to gossip or back bite him with colleagues, or maybe complain about him to HR. If you choose direct discussion, it means you have an Internal Locus of Control. Internal Locus of Control is a great indicator of Self Belief.

Second Step: Discover & Re-Invent Yourself:
Be open to Feedback & ……Regular Feedback:
Are you aware of what ‘ticks’ about you among your colleagues? Or for that matter, what’s your ‘dud’ among people? Collect open and honest feedback from at least 10 of your colleagues, regarding their positive and negative opinions about you. The information you receive could be a great field of opportunity for you.
Choose some meaningful & challenging areas of improvement from the feedback received, and work on them. Thank your colleagues for the feedback they shared with you. You create a great impression for being open, and also will impress them for earnestly willing to improve upon information shared.

Third Step: Don’t Hide Your Good:

What are you hiding away about you at workplace? If you list them, you may write a sequence of your shortcomings. However, seldom are we aware, we are also hiding away our good. Do your colleagues know you are a good singer, story teller, stand up comedian, guitarist or drummer, script writer etc., Wait for the right opportunity and showcase your strengths. In fact, for highly talented people, one perfect instance is good enough for
gaining tremendous visibility.

Step Four: Develop a Tendency to Try New Stuff:
Do you believe, you are just limited to your current impression about you? What are some of the stuff you have been postponing for some time? Asking for that challenging project?
Applying to become a team leader? Initiating an internal network of like-minded colleagues, etc., Don’t post pone them anymore. Initiating those projects is going to help you learn a lot more about of your own self.

Step Five: Build Yourself:

Be a continuous learner. Be a voracious reader. Develop new competencies.
Figure out the ‘White Spaces’.
What according to you, are some methods, initiatives or practices you subtly think could be great for your department and team, but no one tried so far? Such initiatives are called white spaces. The reasons for not walking white spaces, could be need for more time & dedication, or they are difficult and so on. If you find some of the ideas worthwhile and can add value in some or the other way, start today. People who add value can never be ignored anywhere. In the past, if you felt that you did, and still were ignored, it means you were in the illusion of adding value but did not. Do your home work before walking the white space.

Step Six: Let go of Yourself:
Walk up to, or call someone who you are not in good terms with, to suggest you want to bury it and move on like friends. List all the tendencies and habits that currently hinder your growth and work on shredding them. Make Personal Development your number one priority. Not success and achievement. Accept your imperfections and be willing to commit
mistakes. That’s the only way one grows

Step Seven: Be Yourself – Be Authentic
You have a Right to be Yourself, until you know you are a loser. Losers can be destructive to their own selves as well as people associating with them. I assume you are not one!!!
Work on your Assertive Skills. Assertive people are taken seriously. In a workplace, even though this is hard to believe, you can either work on being liked by everyone or being taken seriously. If you claim you are taken seriously even if not liked, you have a great Branding. Be non-compromising on your workplace rights, however, abide by all your
responsibilities efficiently.

Train yourself to be Direct, Specific and Straightforward as a working individual Be comfortable and confident in expressing your feelings just like the way they are Learn to Disagree with people confidently, but politely
Learn to Say ‘No’ Accept your mistakes graciously and emphatically, but learn from them immediately so as not to commit them again.
I assure anyone reading this. The above takes time but is worthwhile. Focusing on the above seven elements will certainly create an incredible Branding for working people.